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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24410530">Addicted to Heartbreak</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/IamDaiBae/pseuds/IamDaiBae'>IamDaiBae</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5, Persona 5 Royal, Persona Series</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Kind of AU too?, Light Angst, Max Akechi Confidant, Max Haru Confidant, Secret Relationship, True Ending Spoilers, heavy persona 5 royal spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:26:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,640</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24410530</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/IamDaiBae/pseuds/IamDaiBae</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Warning: This has really big spoilers for the True Ending of P5R! This is also my interpretation of some of the events that go on! </p><p>~</p><p>They were terrible for each other, yet Haru found herself missing him more than anything. They started and ended as a secret that was meant to die along with him. So why after breaking free of the false reality, she caught his gaze in a crowd?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akechi Goro &amp; Okumura Haru, Akechi Goro/Okumura Haru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Addicted to Heartbreak</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So this was a request I had gotten from a friend which honestly was a bit difficult and quite the challenge. At first I didn't understand the ship, but I think I like what I did with them and what they asked for. Maybe I will find myself writing more about these two, I might not, but either way, thanks for reading!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Haru found that it was extremely difficult to believe everything that had gone on in the first two months of the new year; From Doctor Maruki’s fake reality, having to lose her father again, going through a new palace, graduating, college plans, and the fake everyone around her was going their separate way. All of the Phantom Thieves, Sumire, and… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Akechi, who was only alive because of the fake reality. Everyone had wished for him to be alive and Doctor Maruki had granted that to them, until they fought against him and won. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even then, he came back to the Phantom Thieves through the power Doctor Maruki provided and he was willing to take down this new palace with their help. Even after everything, he was awful to them. Untrustworthy, a bit scary and still unhinged, but at least he was honest. It was hard to work with him, especially when he never even bothered to acknowledge the pain he caused her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But now he was gone, and the real Goro Akechi died in Shido’s palace, sacrificing himself so that the rest of them may live. Some nights, that scene still played in her nightmares, but it was time to move on and accept that he chose to lose his life for them, twice. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was hard to ever forget Akechi. Despite how much she hated him for a short while, how much she wished that he had never done the things he had, the two of them had a history. Consider it Haru’s biggest shame that no one had ever known. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a secret between the two of them, secret rendezvous, coffee dates, all a secret from the rest of the Phantom Thieves. This was before she had known Akechi was planning on betraying them, it started even before she joined the Phantom Thieves. They met numerous times, mostly at work events between her father and Shido, though Akechi was often just entourage at that point. They decided that being involved with matters beyond their control wasn’t what either of them were after, and began talking and eventually exchanging contact information. At the time, he was charismatic and quickly earned her attention, but one thing that he hadn’t expected was to be so involved in her life. Perhaps it was hearing about how her father was a monster and ruining her life. It resonated with him, and after some cheeky flirting on his part, and her welcoming it, they began their secret relationship.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then her engagement to Sugimura was announced, and Haru was heartbroken. Though that didn’t stop them from being each other’s secret. Was it wrong to go behind her fiance’s back? Yes, but he was doing the exact same thing behind hers, yet if her father ever found out, she was as good as dead. Perhaps that was what drove her to Akechi initially, the risk and reward, the reward feeling like she was finally appreciated in some capacity. She would lie to her father and say she was studying with friends or taking care of her plants at the school when she was going to be spending time with him, and they had never gotten caught. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was hard to learn that it was him who had done all these terrible things and even tried to kill their leader, so she let him go. Their secret died with a breakup, if you could call it that, and then when he died in Shido’s palace, a part of her heart died along with him. Yes, he was an awful person who did awful things, but he was troubled and needed help, and never before did she want to help someone more than him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After he died in Shido’s palace, she was near inconsolable and no one understood why. She was the one who cried the hardest when the door shut, sealing them from him, and she was the one he gave an apologetic look to before he shot the switch. Everyone tried to understand, but that was her promise to him, that no one ever found out about them. He made her promise one night, and now she understood that it was because if they found out, they may have assumed her to be a conspirator. But she was honest to God, innocent to his intentions with the Thieves. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But after the “new” reality was made, and he came back, it was too good to be true. Seeing him alive and after they got a chance to meet up when no one had their eyes on them, they talked things through. Talked through what happened and everything they went through, and finally things were going to be okay. However, they still kept things a secret at his request. It must have been because he knew he wasn’t real. Just a figment of reality Maruki created from her wish to see him again. Like realizing this perfect image of her father was a fake, it was hard and painful to admit, but she knew she had to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was one night before the big fight where he’d come to her house and they sat on the couch, silent for a long time without acknowledging the elephant in the room. The fact he was going to have to leave and the real him would have died all that time ago. It was a long night, that one, but after talking things through and coming to the realization that the real reality was going to be better for her than a fake one where nothing bad happened. She needed to decide if she was going to live for herself or live where her choices are made for her. He helped her understand what she needed to do, and that she needed to let him go. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That was how it was supposed to be, at least. Joker and Morgana left in February, and by the time June came around, Haru was also preparing to leave her nest and leave to pursue a future for herself and her company. Even though she may not have had any grand title or ultimate control over the status of Okumura Foods, she was given the power to decide on all directions with her coffee shop. She was even allowed to be the one to name it, since it was her dream to open a shop like this. Cafe Noir was the final name she came up with, and it was the perfect homage to everything she wanted to pay respects to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One day after long meetings with investors and officials, Haru found herself walking through Kichijoji along with her most trusted advisor, the stand-in president of Okumura Foods, Takamura. They had gone through quite a lot, with issues of trust and the difference of opinions with the direction of the company, she now could fully say that she would trust him with any decision he believed would benefit the company. The two of them walked down the street, talking among themselves as they were scouting for a new location. After a lovely brunch after their busy day along with some shopping for supplies for the shop and groceries, they decided to wander and keep their eyes peeled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kichijoji seemed like a good option, lots of foot traffic and tourist appeal, yet still maintaining a welcoming environment for all types of business.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they walked, the crowds were beginning to thicken up and it was getting difficult to keep by each other, so after Haru insisted that she wished to do her own shopping and find her way home, Takamura left her to be on her own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Ouch…” Haru said softly out loud, people bumping into her and stepping on her feet as they seemed to rush towards something. Where did all of these people come from out of nowhere? </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s him!” “Isn’t he famous?”  “Who was he again?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Haru heard the crowd of people start to exclaim, and the general consensus was that this mystery person was one of interest, but no one seemed to really remember why. No one even remembered his name, from what Haru could hear. Suddenly, there was a small opening and Haru could see through the crowd, and once she did so, the paper bag of groceries she was carrying fell to the ground. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wha-” Was all she could say out loud, her hands covering her mouth when she saw the all too familiar face of a man that was supposed to be long gone, and his red eyes met her brown ones for what was only a split second, but felt like an eternity. Time froze, and her brain desperately tried to understand what was happening. As soon as she was able to realize what happened, he turned away and started leaving. Quickly, she wiped her eyes, and when she looked back, he was gone. Hallucinations? At a time like this? Realizing she dropped her bag, quickly she bent down to make sure everything was salvageable and unbroken. It must have been her lucky day, because everything was alright. As she made her way to the promenade, the thought was still crossing her mind. Was that really just a hallucination? He was dead, gone forever, so it must have been. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once she got her bag back into her arms, she started to make her way back to the promenade, trying to forget the cruel tricks that her vision was playing on her. Heading down one of the back alleys to avoid that sudden crowd that had appeared on the main street. As she walked, she could feel people’s eyes on her, though it wasn’t often you would see someone like Haru wandering through the back streets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As she walked, once again she saw him, this time he seemed to be hiding from the crowd, directly in front of her. He hadn’t seemed to notice her yet, so it gave her more time to register what was going on. Her feet frozen in place, and she was unable to call out to him, or even move a step closer to approach him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Peeking around the corner, he then leaned against the wall of one of the buildings with a heavy sigh, taking a moment to catch his breath before suddenly his head snapped towards the figure of the one person he was avoiding the most. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No, no, I can’t be here- </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought to himself as they made eye contact, knowing that there wasn’t any good way to play off that she was making a mistake, like he had done in the crowd. So instead, he tore his gaze away from her and started walking away again, hearing her quickly walk to keep up with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No matter what, he knew he couldn’t face her, so he kept his eyes forward until he could hear her move beside him. She was panting, and it took everything in him to not look at the woman beside and cause a commotion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akechi-kun…” Haru’s nervous voice reached out to him, and his eye twitched a little at the attempt to reach out to him. This wasn’t the right time to let any one of them know that he was alive, not when he still hadn’t figured it out himself. So instead, he was going to try and ignore her. “Akechi-kun, is that you-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just leave me alone. I’m not someone you know.” His voice was cold, but just speaking to her caused her to gasp and stop walking for a second while he kept going, making a few turns to try and lose her, but she found her way at his side. She wasn’t causing a commotion, but he still wasn’t looking at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were… But how are you here?” She tried asking, and she tried to get him to look at her. Why wasn’t he looking at her? It was getting to be frustrating the more she tried to talk to him, and the more he ignored her, they both began fuming. “You were dead to me, to us.” She said, and it earned a small eye roll from the ex-detective. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re obsessed, just let it go.” He told her, and she kept doing her best to keep up with him, but due to his legs being longer than the shorter female’s he was able to keep a steady pace while she kept having to fight to keep up with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you tell us you’re not-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let it go, Okumura-san. Just leave me alone.” He said with a warning tone, and that only made Haru more determined since he’d broken character and acknowledged her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going anywhere until you give me some answers. You owe me that much, Akechi-kun. After everything, you owe me.” Her voice was turning into more of a plea, and he finally looked down to her, causing her to stop in place, and he did the same. That was what he was most afraid of, looking down to her and seeing that ridiculous face she made when she was upset. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, he grabbed onto her free hand and started pulling her, and without an objection, she followed after him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He led her to the train station where there was a small area where no one seemed to be paying attention and it was out of the way. Perfect for them to talk. Akechi settled on leaning against the wall, his fingers pressed to his forehead as he did his best to wrap his mind around the fact that he had been caught so easily. Haru moved so she was beside him, leaning against the wall as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, I-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, I-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They spoke at the same time and quickly quieted down to let the other speak, and it only seemed to frustrate the taller man more. She was asking answers that he didn’t have, especially since the last they’d seen each other, it left things in a very awkward position. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is where you wished to have this conversation? In the middle of a public place?” Haru asked, and he knew that tone very well. It was when she was testing him. Testing his will to do something or pushing his buttons. Her arms crossed and the look on her face demanded an explanation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen, I didn’t know where else to take you to talk without anyone finding us.” He defended himself with a scowl, and Haru frowned and shook her head. “This is the best spot without people getting suspicious about us since we are just blending into the crowd, I thought you’d be able to figure that out.” Even now he was still talking down to her, which was frustrating to her, and she began to dig her nails into her arm as a warning to herself to not fly off the handles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why did you not let me- us know that you were alive?” Haru started asking the questions, but kept her voice down in case there were any lurking people around them, or in case anyone accidentally listened into them. He cringed when her first question was the one he was avoiding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to find out for myself.” He answered, no longer looking down at her and looking at the people passing by. Though when he looked over to Haru, the look on her face told him that she wasn’t satisfied with that answer and wanted more. “I don’t know what else I can tell you. I was avoiding causing unnecessary drama with the group, especially since everyone knows I was the traitor. There was no reason for me to get in contact with any of you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words seemed to hurt her, for a split second she looked almost pained as she listened to his justification. She was being dramatic, Akechi wrote it off as. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So… We are just going to forget everything then?” Haru asked, this time it was more of a whisper, and all he could do is sigh, resting the back of his head against the wall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything about this was so wrong. He wronged her so badly, then got her trust, then left her twice, and yet she was still willing to have him explain himself. He was the worst kind of person she could be around who should have died on multiple occasions, yet here he was breathing and living in such close proximity to a woman whose life he had ruined. He didn’t even deserve her giving him a chance to make things right with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was going to be the plan. Aren’t you supposed to hate me? I ruined your life, and your future.” Akechi faltered for the first time that felt like forever. His uneasiness about answering and the pit in his stomach reminded him that he was still a teenager who dealt with relationships and emotions. This felt like the wrong call and he wished he hadn’t said it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he said that though, she rested a free hand on his arm, and he didn’t pull away, even when her touch felt like hot iron on his skin, burning through his flesh. He expected her to leave and storm off, maybe even slap him before going away, but instead she stayed where she was, her hand gently resting on his arm. Maybe she was waiting for him to brush her off and push her away, but he didn’t have it in him. It was a selfish act if anything, but having her beside him was the only source of comfort he’d had for the past four months. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t hate you…” She told him, and he rolled his eyes, looking down to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should.” He argued with her as a way to get her to be the one to walk away from him. He wasn’t strong enough to leave her, especially not since she was right, he did owe her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I don’t, not anymore.” Haru assured him, and it was beginning to get confusing to him. After everything, she still refused to hate him. “Defeating Shido was revenge enough for my father. I do not hold any resentment towards you.” She clarified her feelings, and Akechi desperately tried to figure out if she was lying to him. Though when he stared into her eyes, all he saw was a certain type of innocence and honesty that he began to remember why he always found his way back to her every time. Maybe he wanted her to lie to him, but that didn’t matter at the moment. “But, if that is the way you truly feel towards me…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of responding, he moved his arm, causing her to take her arm back and frown in response. He really did want things to be over, didn’t he? She should have known that this was how things would end between them, they weren’t meant to be more than they were and they broke up. It was time for her to go, she decided. Pushing herself off the wall, Haru let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding in and before she could take her first step away from him, his hand grabbed hers. Looking back in surprise, she saw him leaning his head against the wall and his eyes closed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” He told her, his eyes still staying closed. It was a shock to Haru to even hear him apologize to her, she expected him to let her go and then he would forget someone like her ever existed. Curious, she did stop and turn to him before she sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do not even know what you are sorry for, Akechi-kun. If this is a cruel joke, I am not laughing.” It was a warning for him not to play with her feelings. Not when she was quite vulnerable at the moment. He opened his eyes when she told him that and then pulled her back to him a bit closer, finally standing up instead of leaning against the wall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I apologize for not telling you sooner. I apologize for us having to meet again like this. I just wasn’t sure how to face you after everything.” As he apologized, Haru looked into his red eyes to try and see if she could see any trace of dishonesty. “I figured once you learned the truth of who I was, you were surely going to hate me, but then Maruki brought me back and you clung to me. I went along with it because I knew I wasn’t supposed to be alive through that. But now I’ve returned and I honestly don’t know where to go from here. With you, with anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He explained himself, and Haru wasn’t sure what came over her when he finished talking, but she moved closer to him. Akechi wasn’t sure what she was doing at first, but when she stood on her toes and pulled him down, he felt her lips plant on his. For a second, he didn’t register what was happening, but once it did, he let his eyes close and he returned the kiss for only a second before she pulled away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m happy to find you’re alive.” She said, and while he still felt immense guilt and confusion towards everything that had been happening, all he could do was nod in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… Me too.” That was all he could manage to get out. Haru’s confidence seemed to wear off all of a sudden and she blushed a bright red out of embarrassment or nervousness, possibly both and she quickly stepped away. As corny as it sounds, it made him feel glad to be alive. Once again, he took her hand and looked down to her. “Let’s get coffee sometime.” He offered, and Haru nodded with a sheepish grin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would like that.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heavily inspired by the song Dead to me by Kali Uchis. If you haven't heard that song, I greatly recommend it.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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